How do you know when to give up on a long-term, long-distance relationship?

We have been together for 9 years, 4 years of which we have been in different countries. For this 4 years we only saw each other once a year. He's been saying he will work on going where I am so we will be together since 4 years ago. But now it has been too long and I gave him an ultimatum that if he does not go here before our 10th anniversary then he should not come at all. He now says he will come next year, but he's been giving hints that it is a big burden for him financially, and would detour his career big time.

I fear he will blame me if it does not work out for him here, and I don't want him to change the course of his life plans (if any) just for me. He is a very clingy boyfriend, and I feel he says things he does not mean just to please me.

Do I just let him come here and see if we can work it out, or should I break it up now before he does any work on visa applications?

1 respuesta

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  • hace 3 meses

    This makes no sense to me.  For four years you've been in different countries, only seen each other once a year.   For the last four years he's made a choice: career over you.  And he says even another year isn't enough.

    Only you can know if this is how you want to live.  It seems to me that you have been putting your life on hold for this man....to what purpose??  For how long are you willing to do this?  Do you know in your heart that he is "the one"?  Where do you see yourself in another year or two or three or 10?

    These are questions only you can answer.

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