Anónimo
Anónimo preguntado en Family & RelationshipsFamily · hace 1 mes

How to deal with such people?

I have a brother who always belittles me in the name of fun and jestering. It really hurts me and he's been doing for as long as I was able to hear. I'm the youngest one in the family and I have always been the little one or the stupid one. I've told my brother many times that I take his jests personally but he doesn't halt. I assume that's why I have started to abhor him. How can I deal with such people who humiliate others in the name of jokes?

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  • Carmen
    Lv 4
    hace 1 mes
    Respuesta preferida

    As far as it depends on you troubled one be peaceable as odd as this may sound because as long as he knows this bothers you and knows how you will react he will continue. If you ignore him meaning don’t let him see you irritated or bothered by his immaturity or lack of showing natural affection toward you . If their is no fuel the fire will eventually go out meaning hopefully when he sees by your mature reaction how ignorant he is being he will recognize his jokes don’t work on you anymore. Pray for strength to be a bigger braver wiser more mature person than he is and maybe he will treat you like he wants to be treated with respect and dignity. You can’t change everyone just change how you react to people and maybe that will change his mind and ways toward you. 

  • hace 1 mes

    Grow a thicker skin or be nasty back to him.  Just tell him when he does it - 'You are SO boring.  Your jokes are SO un-funny.  When are you going to grow up?' and then walk away, .  Show NO INTEREST AT ALL in what he has to say to you.  You have probably looked a bit of a victim in the past when you were a kid and he enjoyed bullying you.  Now you are older and more able to cope, looking at him and acting totally bored without speaking when he does it as if 'same old, same old is SO childish' will turn the tables.  Having no reaction other than a silent accusatory and pitying look will gradually stop him doing it because it's not the reaction he wants from you.  He wants 'upset' - which you won't be showing (even though you may well be very upset inside).  It's also a matter of revenge on him too to make him the uncomfortable one.  Bullies usually have something to hide.  As you are same family he probably also has an element of lack of self-esteem.  You curl up inside with yours - he bullies to make himself feel better.  It may not work the first time you do it - but just carry on acting bored and un-interested in his jokes and not reacting in any other way and he'll give up because you won't be any 'fun' anymore.  Good luck

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