My boyfriend and I are freaking out. How can I stop this?

We've been together for a year and a half. The first months when we were dating we would fool around a lot. I had no problem with it. But then when we started trying to have sex (I am a virgin, he is not) I would freak out because I would get scared or it hurt so we stopped. But then he starting having his own problems, I was relaxed, but he wasn't so it couldn't stay up.

So now even when we are fooling around, once it feels good I start freaking out. I don't know if it has to do with me feeling like we're having sex (even though our clothes on are on) or if I don't deserve to have pleasure. My mother taught me when I was young to wait for sex until I was married.I used to think that's what I wanted, but now I don't care as long as I love my boyfriend and he loves me (that's how it is now). Why am I freaking out now when fooling around? How can I stop feeling guilty like I am doing something bad?

How can I help my boyfriend stop feeling so pressured about it "having to be perfect" and stop worrying about it staying up? He's really worried about it and thinks we'll never have sex.

4 respuestas

  • hace 8 años
    Respuesta preferida

    It doesn’t sound as though you’re ready. When you are, everything will flow naturally and won’t be rushed or uncomfortable. This is what I’ve heard, anyway. ;) Just don’t worry! Everything will be fine!

  • hace 8 años

    Your BF is obviously concerned about performance and you're concerned about the intercourse - these things need to be natural.

    Try and remain calm when having sex - try a different approach. Once you get to the stage of the 'freaking out,' try and relax - just go for it - you've nothing to lose in the long run.

    Make yourself go for it!!!! He's frightened he's not going to perform well and it seems there is an underlying element - why are you worried about the sex being good? Maybe you're worried about the next step? There's nothing to panic over. Just relax, deep breaths, do whatever it takes and given time, you could see a noticeable difference!

    Good Luck!

  • hace 8 años

    If youre freaking out about it, then you aren't ready. It will happen eventually when the time is right and you'll want to because you know you'll be ready.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    hace 8 años

    High maintenance chicks usually end up alone. Chill the F out.

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