¿Esta bien este parrafo en ingles?

Estoy haciendo un ensayo argumentativo de la pena de muerte para mi clase de ingles, pero tngo varias dudas que quisiera lograran encontrar... Este es el parrafo Homicide may be considered a burden for been so heartless, and unconscious. Indeed, we know that killing people it’s a disgrace, and even more if it’s... mostrar más Estoy haciendo un ensayo argumentativo de la pena de muerte para mi clase de ingles, pero tngo varias dudas que quisiera lograran encontrar...
Este es el parrafo

Homicide may be considered a burden for been so heartless, and unconscious. Indeed, we know that killing people it’s a disgrace, and even more if it’s honorable and innocent people the one who get harmed. Nevertheless, with the right investigations from a real police organizing group, justice would work with facilities to incriminate the real offenders who do the attacks. A way to decrease negligent cases and to use death penalty only in the most shocking circumstances is to create conditions to incriminate someone, for then, assure if it’s right to take someone’s life. FOR EXAMPLE, IN THE CASE THAT HAPPENED IN ARIZONA, IN WHICH A VETERAN NAMED JARED LOUGHNER KILLED SIX PEOPLE, AND INJURED THE ARIZONA’S CONGRESSWOMAN GABRIELLE GIFFORDS, ACCORDING TO PREVIOUS CRIMINAL COMPLAINTS, THE ATTACK FOR MOST OF THE VICTIMS WAS ON THE “ENGAGED IN THE PERFORMANCE OF OFFICIAL DUTIES”. Subsequently, with the condition that they were in charge of their labors, there’re no uncertainties over the case; death penalty should take place.

No se, la idea que quiero dar es buena... pero no se si se entienda, Que dicen? Me podrian a ayudar a identificar cualquier tipo de error? GRACIAS

pd. donde tengo mas duda es en la oracion con letras mayusculas... MUCHAS GRACIAS!! =)
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