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  • Do I have to be quiet in my own house?

    As many of you know my step-sons don't like to work.  The youngest is now involved with this Facebook Bingo game where people put their money in with the chance of winning the pot.  He gets a percentage of the winnings.  Lately my wife has been helping him out with the Facebook Live things by moderating some games for him.  Normally when she does a Live game she'll tell me to be quiet and go into the next room.  Today she took a day off work so siting in the living room while I was in the bedroom working, she decided to do a live game.  While on lunch I had a few things on my mind so when I walked into the living room into the kitchen I must have been mumbling, again, mumbling to my self.  Not talking loud or screaming.  She looks up at me and snaps her fingers like I'm a dog or something telling me to shut up so the people on the live game didn't hear me.  First of all I could care less about those people on Facebook trying to will a bingo game.  Secondly, I'm in my house and I'm not going to be silenced like I'm a kid.  My wife is so addicted to FB that she'll drive with it open in her lap constantly looking down.  I've never seen someone so addicted to social media like her.  When I'm working in the bedroom she'll come in there constantly to talk to me or put up laundry or just anything.  

    6 respuestasFamilyhace 4 días
  • Can you make someone stay?

    My daughter and 2 step sons have an apartment together and have been for a little more than a year now.  For the past 6 or 8 months now the boys refuse to work or bring any money into the apt.  My daughter has a full time job working from home and she said she's tired of paying the bulk of the bills.  They got so far behind on their rent until they were almost evicted and they still haven't gotten caught back up yet.  The boys refuse to work saying they are going to work for "the man" so they are always looking for a side hustle to make money.  My daughter said she was planning to move out and I told her to contact the rental office about taking her name off the lease.  he did and they are willing to do it but they want the boys to come sign a form removing her from any future rent and to show pay stubs that they can afford the apt.  They refuse because they know they can't afford it without her.  Can you make someone stay in an apartment they no longer want to be in?  

    Several months ago my daughter and the youngest step-son went in about bought a big 50" TV for their living room.  Last sat my daughter got home and said the TV was gone.  The step-son had sold it saying that since she was planning on moving out he felt it was within his rights to sell the TV.  They went half and half on the TV and spent about $400 on it.  He sold it for only $200 and finally gave her $100.  The TV was only 3 months old and hasn't depreciated that.  So, he's now going to start selling off

    5 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 5 días
  • How nosy can one person be?

    My wife is a tough pill to swallow.  It seems that when I have her figured out she does something that throws everything out the window.  Working from home we're on opposite ends of the house.  She's in the kitchen and I'm in the bedroom.  My job requires me to take calls all day so I'm constantly talking.  My wife's job doesn't require phone work.  Yesterday one of my co-workers called me on my cell and she and I talked for a few minutes. After that I got back on work calls.  Later in the day after I got off work my wife looks at me and says, "so, who were you talking to on the phone?"  I looked at her like, "what?"  She heard me on the phone and was curious as to who I was talking to.  I'm talking all day but she singled out one phone call from a co-worker to ask about.  On the contrary, she's not on the phone but when I hear her talking in the kitchen it never crosses my mind to ask her who she was talking too.  We can be sitting on opposite ends of the sofa and her text messages can be going off constantly and it doesn't bother me in the least.  But the minute I get a text msg the first thing out of her mouth is, "who is that?"  Are most women curious to know everything their man is doing or is it just my wife.  I'm 51 and she's turning 50 in a few months.  I'm too old to be playing those, "who was that" game with her.  

    7 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 3 semanas
  • Simple Question:  Do you know which medication you are taking?

    I work for a patient assistance program with a large medical company and we provide various medications for free to patients in need.  When you call you have to verify certain pieces of information so we can pull up your account.  I just got a call from a lady asking about the status of her application.  She got very irate with me because when I asked which medication she was calling about she said. "I don't know."  I told her we needed to know which medication she was taking and she said she didn't know, her doctor wanted her to take it.  She signed the application so she should know what was prescribed.  My thinking is that if my doctor wanted me to start taking a medication and then if I filled out an application to receive the medication for free I should know what medication I'm taking.   When I mentioned to her that she needed to now which medication her doctor is prescribing she immediately turned that around to say, "are you calling me dumb?"  I told her no, I wasn't calling her dumb but I just needed to know which medication because we do produce more than one.  

    Am I wrong to think that you should know what medication you're taking?  What if your doctor prescribes you cyanide, do you just take it without knowing what it is?

    1 respuestaMedicinehace 4 semanas
  • How would you respond to this comment from your manager?

    Now that we're working from home our team communicates via Skype software with a group chat.  We have a new manager whom none of us have met but he is a stickler for us to remain available to take calls.  Any wrap time longer than 4 minutes he's pinging you.  I had a major accident with a table saw last week where I severely cut my thumb and I was prescribed antibiotics to take 4 times a day.  I have an alarm set on my phone to remind me when it's time to take them.  I'm in one corner of my room at my desk and my medication is on my nightstand next to my bed.  It's now lunch time and he's scheduled 4 people to be at lunch which increases the call volume.  Between calls I put myself on a quick break as to not get a call while I was away from my desk and the minute I come back he send out a group ping to say that we have multiple people out, several on lunch, and 1 on a break.  I replied to the group ping to say that I stepped away for a second to go get my medication.  This was his reply.  "How far is "across your room" 1/4 mile".  Then he follows that up with "JK".  Look, I've never met you but I'm trying not to lose my thumb so if I need to go get my medication and be away from the phones for 20 seconds you're just going to have to deal with that.  How would you or would you even respond to his reply?

    3 respuestasEtiquettehace 1 mes
  • Why does she think this way?

    Last week I had a major accident using a table saw and severely cut my thumb.  I went to the urgent care the next day and the doctor looked at it, cleaned the wound, and bandaged it up.  Since then I've not had much use of my left hand.  You never know what you can't do until you don't have use of one of your hands.  Simple things like putting on deodorant, holding a glass, or even buttoning or unbuttoning your pants.  I have had to rely on my wife for a number of things. Even cleaning the wound and redressing it each night.  Well, yesterday after dinner I told her I was going to get some gas then stop by my parent's house.  When I got there I decided I just wanted to take a drive to get some fresh air.  She got upset with me claiming that not that my thumb is starting to heal I don't need her as much.  She was pretty upset too.  Did she think I would never regain the use of my hand and that I was to always rely on her to unbutton my pants so I could go to the bathroom?  The accident hasn't prevented me from driving so while I was out I decided to just get some fresh air and she took offense to that.  Why does she think I am only suppose to rely on her for everything now? Eventually my hand will heal and I won't need her for those little things.

    4 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 1 mes
  • Will she be upset if I don't . . . . . . .?

    My wife's family has always made birthdays a big event.  So much so that they tend to want to celebrate every year, no matter what year it is.  I come from a larger family and our parent's couldn't afford to throw 7 birthday parties each year.  7 kids in the house.  I'm of the mindset that as a child you celebrate birthdays but then at a certain point you celebrate milestone numbers.  1st, 6th, 10th 13th, 16th, 18th, 21st.  After that I think you just need to celebrate the milestone ones like every 10 years or so.  30, 40, 50, etc.  Well my wife will be 50 this year and she's already dropping hints that she wants me to do something big for her.  The problem is that last year when I turned 50 I got a card and a simple "happy birthday".  I'm not saying that I don't want to do something for her but I'm not throwing a big blowout bash when all I got was a card.  Sure, a nice meal out and a little gift but I'm not renting a hall and inviting all her family and friends to come celebrate.  Given that she's been dropping hints would she be upset if I don't go all out for her given that she didn't go all out for me?

    7 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 1 mes
  • Do I really need her permission?

    I come from a large family and we are always gathering at our parent's house on Sundays just to reconnect.  My wife, on the other hand has 2 living sisters, 1 deceased, and both of her parents still living and she hardly goes to visit them even though they all live in the same city.  I have 6 other siblings.  Between us there are 6 grandkids. I have 1 bio daughter and 1 adopted daughter.  My adopted daughter had 3 kids.  My wife's son has 2 kids of his own so I "technically" have 5 grandkids.  My bio daughter recently informed us that she was pregnant so this will be my first official blood grandchild and I'm excited.  My mom has always wanted a natural great-grand and now she will finally have one.  My wife and I usually get my step-son's first child every other weekend for a few nights but that's all my wife wants to see her is every other weekend.  She knows how I am about my grands and would love to have them around all the time.  Last night she told me that she hopes I don't start just bringing my daughter's baby over all the time.  Last time I checked is that this is my house too and this is my grandchild.  If I want to bond with my  grandchild I'm not going to ask my wife's permission.  She knows me, I want to have her son's oldest daughter here with us all the time. There's something about having a baby in the house or a toddler running around thinking you hung the sun and the moon.  Do I need my wife's permission to bring my grandchild over for a visit or overnight?

    5 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 1 mes
  • Why do people act so rude when calling a business for help?

    I work for a medical company and we supply insulin free of charge to patient who can't afford it.  As we are all aware of there is a HIPAA regulation preventing us from speaking to anyone other than the patient about their account OR someone they have designated as a contact.  I just got a call from a girl who was calling about her boyfriend's account and when I told her I could not discuss his account with her she gave him the phone.  He apparently didn't  want to talk to me because he said that she handles all that stuff for him and gave the phone back to her.  She asked why we couldn't do a verbal authorization so that he gives permission to speak to her.  And when I informed her that we didn't take verbal authorization she got irate and said something to the extent of, "well thanks for nothing @$$ wipe" and hung up the phone.  Why do people feel the need to insult you when you're doing nothing more than trying to help them and then when you can't and explain why they want to curse you out?  I was speaking to the patient and he didn't want to talk to me but the person he wanted me to talk to we couldn't give any information to.  Do they not understand that it's a federal violation to give out any information about a patient's account?  So now this woman and patient, both got testy with me and they still didn't get their problem solved.  Help me understand that.

    3 respuestasLaw & Ethicshace 1 mes
  • Do you tell your spouse everything the minute you know it?

    My wife has this issue to where she feels that we should just always be in constant conversation and that I should just want to have "random" conversations with her.  My biological daughter is expecting her first child next year and we've been throwing names around.  In texting with my oldest adopted daughter yesterday she and I we talking about names.  This was early in the day yesterday.  After our conversation I went back to work and forgot about the conversation.  Later in the day my daughter stopped by and this was my conversation.  "Oh, me and (insert name) were texting today and she suggested these names."  My wife was standing there so my daughter and I talked for a few minutes then I went back to doing what I was doing.  About an hour or so later I sat down for dinner and my wife said, "It would really be nice if you would have those conversations with me like you do with your daughter."  I completely forgot want was going on so when she told me about the names I told her my mind was on other things and I forgot.  I didn't remember till my daughter walked in.  My wife thinks I should have had the conversation with her before my daughter came over.  That shows I care and want her to be a part of everything.  

    So this morning I had to run to the store to return an item I purchased then I stopped by McDonalds for some coffee before I headed home to work.  The minute I walked in to told her every thing that happened at the store and everything that happened

    5 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 1 mes
  • Contractor issue:  Is this too much?

    My / our father is 81 years old and barely gets around these days.  He is mobile with the aid of a walker but he's becoming a bit much for my mom to lift out of his chair and get him up and down the stairs for doctor's visits and things like that.  The 7 siblings have decided we need to put a ramp on the back door so he can now start using a wheelchair.  One of our cousins is a mason by trade and our oldest sister reached out to him to see what it would cost to build a ramp.  Assuming this would be a wooden ramp and not brick or concrete he came back with a quote of around $2300.00.  We've never had to quote this so I'm not sure if that's a fair price.  Looking online I've seen similar metal ramps for less than $1000.  It probably only needs to be about 20 feet or so, if that long.  For those with general contracting experience, or anyone who has ever had to build a handicap ramp, is $2300 reasonable?  Assuming we're probably getting the "family" discount too.  Help.  OR should we shop around for a few more estimates before we go with our cousin?

    21 respuestasMaintenance & Repairshace 1 mes
  • Why does she always make things an issue?

    As usual, my wife finds a way to turn something completely innocent into a discussion that turns into an argument.  As we're all working from home a number of my co-workers have exchanged phone numbers to keep in touch since we don't see each other in the office.  Yesterday after I got off I was texting with a female co-worker and she informed me that we had to do mandatory OT on Sat for 8 hours.  I missed that email so I got up and went and turned back on my work computer to see the email.  When I came back into the living room I was still texting with my co-worker.  Then my wife made the comment of, "I think you need to chill with that before that becomes a problem, especially after last night."  The night before we were about to get intimate but things didn't go as planned and the event stopped.  She was a little upset about that.  I looked at her and said, "do you not text with any of your co-workers so how are you relating what happened last night to one of my co-workers texting about mandatory work on Sat?"  I had a lot of plans I was going to do Sat but now I have to cancel them.  My wife never really said how she related the two but that appeared to be her way of bringing up last night.  This girl is probably 20 years younger than me and recently hired with the company.  Her and several new employees reach out to me when they have questions about work and things like that.  

    2 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 2 meses
  • Is there such a thing as wanting to be too married?

    My wife is a member of some marriage club on Facebook and it seems that she lives for this group.  She likes every post and shares a lot of things to her married friends.  Today she posted a long post about the important things to do while you're married.  Just a few of the highlights.  1)  Talking openly about what you want to change in your relationship is important.  2)  Don’t force a resolution.  3)  When you get into a fight, don’t just say “I’m sorry”. Say what you are sorry for, and how you will react differently next time.  4)  Turn off the phones an hour before bedtime and just talk to each other.

    I find this list amusing because 1)  My wife never talks about what she wants to change about herself but what she expects me to change about me.  2)  When we argue she wants to argue until she gets her expected resolution.  3)  I can never just apologize to my wife.  She wants to know what I'm sorry for.  And 4) Not saying this is a bad thing but who turns off their phone an hour before bed and just talks?  Aren't you talking throughout the day?  

    My wife lives on Facebook and thinks that everything in this marriage club/group is the end all to sustaining a healthy relationship.  What she doesn't understand is that I like doing things apart from her.  I don't want to do everything with her.  Can you want to be too married or is she trying to put up this front like we have the perfect marriage?

    3 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 2 meses
  • How do you bring this up without pissing her off about her sons?

    My wife and I have been together some 17 years.  She came into the relationship with 2 sons from her first marriage and I have a daughter from a previous relationship.  About a year ago all three of them moved out and got an apartment together.  They range in age from 23 to 26.  Her oldest son is a convicted felon with 2 kids that he doesn't support.  Her youngest is turning into a pot head.  My daughter, and please do not think I'm raising her above them, but she's a college graduate and informed me a few weeks ago that she's about to have her first child.  

    Well, this week my daughter text me to say that they are behind on their rent almost $2800 because the boys refuse to work.  The oldest is having a hard time finding a job with his record and the youngest, again, has made the statement that he's not going to work for "the man".  The youngest's girlfriend pretty much lives with them now and she use to work but now only hangs with the youngest following him around.  The two of them are now trying to start a lawn care business but until they get that off the ground they still need full time jobs to help support the apt.  

    It may be none of my business but how do I bring this up to my wife without pissing her off?  Again, anytime I bring up her sons it turns into an argument because she feels I'm just coming down on them.  With the Covid crisis going right now our city has halted evictions for the past few months but the city recently announced that those hearings will

    3 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 2 meses
  • Why do women like to bring up old stuff from years ago?

    This weekend my wife and I sort of got into it . . again.  We're both in our early 50s. I'm 51 and she'll be 50 in a few months.  Been together a total of about 17 years.  Back in high school I dated a girl and we were very close.  I was a few years older than her.  I went off to college and we dated on and off for a few years till she went to college.  That's when she finally came out of the closet and admitted she was a lesbian.  Our friendship changed from that point to just friends.  She's one of my best friends in the world today.  We've kept in touch over the years.  About 10 years ago she started dating a woman and eventually got married to her.  I'm happy for them.  They then started having conversations about having a child.  I would always joke around with her that I'd be their sperm donor.  Yes, we had had sex while we were dating but it was always awkward.  I would always joke with her about being their sperm donor.  I knew it would never happen but we were friends like that.  Well, they eventually did IVF and she now has a beautiful daughter about 7 or 8 years old.  Fast forward to now.  

    This weekend my mom called me and while sitting there with my wife I had a conversation with my mom.  She called to tell me that my aunt, her sister, was in the hospital.  We talked for a while then I told my mom to give me her number and also her daughter, my cousin's number so I could call them.  

    2 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 2 meses
  • Would you be offended by this?

    Say you have kids from your first marriage and you marry someone who also has kids.  You are accepted into his family with open arms and have been a part of it for a number of years.  Your mother-in-law has grandkids by her children including your spouse.  YOur mother-in-law has been mentioning fo r several years that she'd love  a"natural" grandchild.  Your child has a child and your mother-in-law accepts that one with open arms as a great grandchild but technically it's not a "natural / biological" great grandchild.  Your spouse's child now is about to have a child so that will be his family's first natural / biological grandchild.  Do you get offended by that thinking that child will now be accepted and loved more than your child's child?  

    6 respuestasFamilyhace 2 meses
  • Was I supposed to make my wife the center of attention?

    Several weeks ago on my birthday my 23 year old daughter informed me that I was going to be a granddad again.  This will be my first biological grandchild.  My wife's son, from her first marriage, has 2 kids and I have an adopted daughter (not legally adopted but when her father was killed when she was about 2 or 3 I helped raise her) she has 3 kids who call me granddaddy.  Again, my first biological grandchild.  In an effort to get to know my grandchild dad I invited them to dinner.  I cooked dinner and the entire time we were talking my wife hardly said a word.  Eventually I noticed she left the table.  She had gone to the bedroom, put on her pjs, wrapped her hair, and was under the covers.  When I asked her why she was in the bedroom she told me that it was like I wasn't including her in the conversation so she didn't feel the need to hang around.  

    Excuse me, but I didn't think I invited my daughter and her boyfriend over so we could talk about my wife.  My wife seems to think that anything that goes on she has to be the focus of it.  I did the exact same thing when my step-son had his first child.  I invited the girl and her father over and we all sat down and did the same thing.  

    Was I supposed to make my wife the center of attention or was she either being petty or over-reacting?

    8 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 2 meses
  • How often do you expect a hug from your mate?

    My wife is still on this kick to where she's angry I don't hug her enough. From day one I told her I'm not a huggy, touchy, feely person. I was raised in a large family and even thought there was a lot of laughs and love we didn't just go around hugging just to say hi or good morning. We've been together some 17 years and in our 50s now and you would thought I have never touched her. I am just the type of person who doesn't need a lot of physical touch to feel loved. If I give her 1 or 2 hugs a week she's fine. But if I forget to give her a hug then she gets all bent out of shape. How often do you expect a hug from your mate and do things like that change once you've been in a relationship with them some 10 or 15+ years?

    14 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 3 meses
  • Does this make me shallow?

    I've made it no secret that when I met my wife she was everything I was looking for in a woman. We're black so she was very light skinned, sometimes mistaken for white. She had very long wavy hair and weighed about 105 lbs. I have always has an affection for think light skinned girls. Several years into dating my wife decided that she was tired of being the skinny girl. She said that she was always the skinny one in high school and even during several stints in 2 branches of the military and even her first marriage and 2 kids later. She decided to put on weight. She's now up to around 150 or 160 lbs. Now our sex life has suffered. Even thought I still love her I do not find her sexually attractive. And she has made it clear, she's not going back down to her previous weight. For months now she's been complaining about our lack of sexual activity and I've told her it's her weight. In her mind I should still desire her no matter what weight she is. Now some may say that 156 or 160 isn't that much for a woman to be but that's not the woman I fell in love with. No health issues, no additional kids. Nothing. She just decided that she was tired of being a size 2 or 4 but has now gotten up to a 12/14 and even some 16 clothes. I just don't find her sexually attractive right now. Does this make me shallow?

    26 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 3 meses
  • Am I supposed to cure her boredom?

    With the Covid crisis still going strong my wife is one who feels that I'm supposed to keep her entertained since we're both working from home. Yesterday after she got off work she comes walking into the bedroom where I'm working and lays across the bed and looks at me till I was done with my call. She said that she was bored and had nothing to do. She likes to read but wasn't in the mood to read a book. She's tired of that. I told her she needed to get a hobby, something she likes to do to occupy her time. Me, I love working with wood. I took that after my dad. I'm in the process of making my mom a butcher block cutting board so the past few weeks have been filled with me looking at hardwoods, buying tools, and supplies to begin this next project. I can spend 5 hours in my workshop and it'll only feel like I've done 20 minutes of work. My wife is not a creative thinker so she has a problem coming up with anything she likes to do. I honestly do not want to sit and keep her entertained all the time so she can feel happy. I've made suggestions but she isn't willing to invest any money into something she might like. Everything to her is supposed to be free. She thinks that we should always want to go to the park together, go have a picnic together, or just go take a walk together. You pick up what I'm laying down? I'm supposed to keep her entertained. I have my hobbies that I like to do outside of her but how do I help her find what she likes to do?

    4 respuestasMarriage & Divorcehace 3 meses